i'm sorry if i got some of you worried by my last post.... i'm ok now.... well, better at least.... thanks zin for talking some sense into me......

I'm in a foul mood today.... don't know why.... i juz feel so mad at everything.... damn.... screw myself.... i juz feel so stressed out, but the bloody prob is i don't bloody hell know what i'm so stressed bout..... and thats so fcuked up..... pardon me yah, i'm sure i'll get back to my senses soon enough.... oh yah, all the best to those having their exams.... take care....


Riz lost himself at 3/28/2005 09:37:00 am

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i couldn't help myself this morning.... i cried as i saw my mum leaving for the hospital.... i juz never really realised how much i love her and how much she meant to me.... i was always taking her for granted..... even though she's juz having a minor surgery, but still the doctor told her that there's still a chance that she might get a stroke or something like that if she goes through the procedure.... i'm juz really scared and worried.... before she left, she told me to look after my siblings if anything was to happen to her.... i tried my best not to cry while i was with her.... damn, i'm crying as i'm writing this.... i'm in my lab, but the mood is juz not there for my project now.... i'm juz praying that she'll be ok......


Riz lost himself at 3/24/2005 08:52:00 am

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this thing has been bothering me for days..... why are things so bad now.... we used to be so close.... its not that i don't love you... hell, i still do... but i juz think that some of the things that you have done are not right.... i mean, you have to spare a thought for your loved ones.... they are getting on in age..... if you're stressed, they are juz as stressed as you.... i'm stressed out too, but this is not bout me.... its bout you.... perhaps i was wrong in the way i reacted.... but you also should not have done what you did that day.... and you should know me, when i get angry, i juz don't think bout what i say.... its not that i'm blaming you.... both of us are to blame.... you should stop and think for awhile, and realise that some of the things that you have been done are wrong too..... i'm not talking bout the friends.... i'm juz talking bout how you treat your loved ones.... is this the type of attitude that you should display to them? is this the type of language that you should speak with them? i don't really care bout how you look at me now, and how you treat me.... i juz want you to treat the ones who love you with as much love as possible, juz like how they have been treating you..... even though they may have acted crazy or stupid at times, they still love you..... they simply care for you and want to protect you.... and remember this, no one is perfect... nothing is perfect.... there will always be flaws everywhere and in everything.... always remember that..... and whatever happens, i'll always love you.....


Riz lost himself at 3/21/2005 09:26:00 pm

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i finally got through the first presentation yesterday.... thanks zin, for the encouragement.... well, it was ok.... i wasn't nervous or anything like that.... i should say that i was feeling more scared simply because i don't really know much bout the stuff that i was presenting.... yea, even after weeks of research, i still know nuts bout it.... but luckily for me, my partner was there to save my ass again.... she answered most of the questions that were directed at us..... i really don't know what i'll do without her... have you ever had the feeling of wanting to do something, but you juz don't know how to do it? well, this is what i've been feeling these few weeks... i seriously want to help with the project, but i juz know nuts bout it..... its a sucky feeling.... i feel as if i'm hanging from a thread, a thread that can break anytime..... i don't want to fall... hell! nobody wants that! well, enough of me ranting bout my project.....

to the both of you: love is a very complicated "matter".... it can make you act crazy without you actually realising it.... sometimes, all you have to do is juz to calm down, and take a good look at the picture in front of you.... look at it in a different perspective.... don't juz look at it as how you want it to look like.... the situation may actually be different for all you know..... please don't be offended by what i wrote.... i know, who am i to write bout such stuff when i don't even know how it feels like.... juz take it as juz another opinion from someone who cares.... cheer up gals! smile always =)


Riz lost himself at 3/17/2005 11:23:00 am

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hmmm.... a good friend of mine has apparently broken up with her bf.... i'm not sure as to what happened, and i'm not going to probe.... and i don't really know why, but i feel sad bout it.... cause she was so devoted to him.... i don know... i juz feel sad.... its a weird feeling to have at this point of time.... perhaps this is the feeling that you will get when something bad happens to a good friend.... well, whatever it is, i juz hope that she will pick herself up and move on.... and as cliche as it may sound, i juz want her to know that i'll always be here if she ever needs me....

i actually wanted to write about a great movie that i juz watched this evening... but i guess it'll be really insensitive of me to rave bout how i enjoyed myself now.... and the mood is not really there anymore.... but i would like to say that Hitch is a very good movie.... a great romantic comedy..... well, thats all for today... cheer up peeps.... life is full of ups and downs.... but the experience that it gives you, you'll never forget.... cherish it....


Riz lost himself at 3/12/2005 10:06:00 pm

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yesterday was my parents' 21st wedding anniversary.... and i treated them to pizza! haha... i know lah, i'm a cheapskate.... but what can i do, i'm not rich.... had pizza for 2 days straight.... on monday, the lecturer in charge of the jae thingy treated all of us who had helped out, to pizza hut.... there were only 15 of us and she actually ordered 10 pizzas.... it was crazy.... we ate till we couldn't put anything into our mouths anymore... haha.... and there were still plenty of leftovers after that.... didn't know that such a generous person existed in this world.... but i'm not complaining..... heh.... zin juz smsed me asking me to follow them clubbing.... apparently to be their "protector"... haha... crazy... i don't club, and i never will.... i went to zouk once with the old pal gang, and i totally hate it!! to me, its one of the worse places you can ever be in... but its juz my opinion... others may find it nice.... so go ahead and enjoy yourselves zin and chantel!! be careful though.... cheers!!


Riz lost himself at 3/09/2005 01:52:00 pm

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the presentation is a few days away and what do i have to show for it? nothing....absolutely nothing.... great..... in our desperation yesterday, my partner and i decided to approach one of her programming lecturers..... that lecturer then sent us to see another lecturer who specialises in our type of programming cause he wasn't too sure bout our program..... the 2nd lecturer then took a look at our program for a couple of mins, and went to say that it was too complicated and that he also wasn't really sure.... cool.... 2 lecturers find our program difficult.... and where does that leave us? nowhere i guess.... ok, enough of whining today.... well, went to gym again today with akil.... david, as usual, said he was coming but in the end he came 2 hours late, by which time we were both done.... and he gave all kinds of excuses and reasons as to why he was late... whatever man.... haha.... then we proceeded to meet up with kim and beng for lunch.... went to j8 and after that, city hall, juz because someone wanted to get new shoes.... man, he's worse than a girl i think.... haha... no offence man, but that's what i really think... hehe... he juz couldn't decide on what to get.... in the end he got a pair which he could have gotten at one of the shops that we went to earlier.... what a bloody waste of TIME!! i'll kill him one of these days man.... haha.... dave, i really pray hard that you'll get into commandos!!! i want to see you cry inside!!!! heh.... i'm mean.... and to zin and chantel, i juz wanna wish the both of you the very best in your business thingy!! Cheers!!!


Riz lost himself at 3/05/2005 11:44:00 pm

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